JOKE: THE PRIEST AND THE CONFESSING GIRL

 Girl: "Forgive me father for i have sinned."
 Priest: "What have you done my child?"
 Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
 Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
 Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
 Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
 Girl: "Yes father"
 Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
 Girl: "Then he touched my breast"
 Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her breast)
 Girl: "Yes father"
 Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
 Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father"
 Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
 Girl: "Yes father"
 Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
 Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what......into my you know where."
 Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what....into her you know where)
 Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER...!!!
 (after a few minutes)
 Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch"
 Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
 Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
        BUHAHAHAHAHA THIS KIND PRIEST EHN!!!

"Ramadan has crippled business", prostitutes lament

Commercial sex workers, otherwise known as prostitutes are angry, their anger, we gathered is not unconnected with the ungoing Ramadan fasting being embarked on by the muslim faithfuls across the country. According to those in the business of bed-to-wealth, the fasting period has crippled their business. At one of their bases in Ejigbo, a suburb of Lagos, the visibly angry ladies were seen sitting at different locations, discussing their fate.
On enquiry, a lady identified as rose from Edo lamented, "Oga, since morning, na only one person i don do, unlike before, i for don do like 16 or so. Na Ramadan." She said. When prodded further, she said "Oga i no come count bridge for lagos, if u wan support my ministry tell me, i go "do" you well".
In Ikotun, prostitutes lamented that their customers no longer pick their calls, "since Ramadan fasting started, my regular customer, waidi refused picking my calls, and its painful and unfair. They should consider our own side too". said joy, a native of Akwa ibom.
When asked about her service, the fair complexioned lady who said she's a drop out from Delta State University, said, it depends, at times, most rich men don't negotiate, if you do them well, they can give you 50k per night. Now we dont have a choice because of Ramadan, we can even agree for 200naira for a round.....jeeez!
Our efforts to reach the president, National Association of Nigerian Prostitutes(NANP), Lagos State chapter has been fruitless as the lady is said to have travelled out of the country... LMAO!! They even have president....... 

Badminton star quit after Olympic disgrace

One of the disgraced Chinese badminton players kicked out of the Olympics after attempting to throw a match has announced her retirement from the sport.

Yu Yang, part of the reigning women's doubles world champion pair, announced she was quitting after Chinese officials ordered her and her partner Wang Xiaoli to apologise over their actions at Wembley Arena on Tuesday.
"This is my last time competing. Goodbye Badminton World Federation, goodbye my beloved badminton," she wrote on Weibo, the Chinese version of Twitter.
"Four years of tough training with injuries, you just disqualified us. You heartlessly broke our dreams. It is simple, nothing complicated, but it's so unforgivable. "
Yu and Wang, the top seeds in the tournament, were disqualified along with two South Korean pairs - Jung Kyung-eun and Kim Ha-na, and Ha Jung-eun and Kim Min-jung - and Indonesians Greysia Polii and Meiliana Jauhari.
The eight players served into the net, hit shots long or wide and wasted time as they contrived to lose in order to secure themselves more favourable draws in the next round of the competition.
The Badminton World Federation (BWF) found them guilty of "not using one's best efforts to win a match" and "conducting oneself in a manner that is clearly abusive or detrimental to the sport".
The Xinhua news agency reported that the Chinese players and their leaders had been "severely criticised and educated".
Li Yongbo, chief coach of the team, said: "The key point is we did not behave professionally as athletes and did not treat each match seriously.
"We didn't strive with all our might in the Olympic way... as chief coach I really feel I must say sorry to fans and viewers nationwide."
The fiasco began when Chinese top seeds Wang Xiaoli and Yu Yang started to show little interest in beating Koreans Jung Kyung-eun and Kim Ha-na to finish top of Group A.
This would mean avoiding compatriots and second seeds Tian Qing and Zhao Yunlei at least until the final.
The Koreans responded by copying China, prompting boos from the crowd, and referee Thorsten Berg emerged to warn all the players. The match restarted and the Koreans went on to win 21-14 21-11.
But that was not the end of the matter as a second Korean pair, the third seeds Ha Jung-eun and Kim Min-jung, then attempted to throw their match against Indonesia's Meiliana Jauhari and Greysia Polii.
Their motive was apparently an attempt to avoid Wang and Yu in the quarter-finals, an outcome they failed to achieve as they eventually won 18-21 21-14 21-12. The Indonesians in turn had also tried to lose the game.
Berg intervened and disqualified the players in the second game, prompting a roar of approval from the angry crowd, but quickly reversed his decision.
BWF secretary general Thomas Lund said: "The regulations clearly state you have to win every match and you cannot throw some matches to win other matches.
"There's no two ways about that and that is what the disciplinary committee found in the principles of the Olympic spirit."   Mehn this is heart breaking. After four years :( imagine say na you.....wetin you go do???

TRUVADA: 5THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE FIRST DRUGS TO PREVENT HIV

Getty image

Doctors now have another weapon against HIV/AIDS in their arsenal, and it’s a potent one. For the first time, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a drug treatment that will prevent infection in healthy people.
The drug, called Truvada which is already approved for the treatment of HIV in infected patients, works by lowering the amount of virus circulating in people’s blood. But clinical trials show that it can also protect uninfected high-risk people from acquiring the virus, if they take the drug daily before and after exposure.
The approval is controversial. Some public health experts argue that allowing the drug to be used for prevention will foster a false sense of security among users, leading people to believe mistakenly that they are immune to the virus and reduce their use of condoms. However, the FDA determined that the benefits of expanding the pool of people who may use Truvada to protect against HIV made it worth approving. Here’s what you need to know.
Who can take Truvada?
The drug, made by Gilead Sciences Inc., is approved for healthy, uninfected people who are at high risk of contracting HIV through sex. These include sex workers and people with partners who are HIV-positive or engage in high-risk behaviors, such as using IV drugs.
How effective is the drug in preventing HIV?
In one study healthy gay and bisexual men who took Truvada daily and were counseled about safe sex practices lowered their risk of becoming infected by up to 42%. In another study involving heterosexual couples in which one partner was HIV-positive, the uninfected partner had a 75% lower risk of contracting HIV if they took Truvada.
Does Truvada cure AIDS?
No. The drug can treat people who are infected with HIV by lowering the amount of virus in their bodies and slowing down the progression of the disease. In healthy, uninfected people, the drug can thwart HIV’s ability to take hold in healthy cells and start an infection, by blocking the activity of an enzyme that the virus needs to replicate.
Why is the approval controversial?
Some experts believe that healthy people may not take the drug correctly — it needs to be taken daily to be effective — which would encourage HIV to become resistant to the medication. Public health officials also worry that people may engage in more risky behaviors when they are on the drug, believing they are protected completely against HIV, which they are not. However, patients who receive Truvada prophylactically will be expected to participate in a comprehensive HIV protection plan involving regular HIV testing, condom use and prevention counseling and support. Clinical trials have not shown that users are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior.
Researchers also can’t explain why in one study involving female sex workers, those who took Truvada to prevent HIV were not protected against infection. The authors think that the participants did not take the drug in the right doses, but it’s also possible that something about the vaginal environment makes the drug less effective.

Why is the approval important?
Approving a drug to prevent HIV marks a big step toward controlling the spread of HIV and AIDS, not just in the U.S. but worldwide as well. Once Truvada is used as a preventive measure domestically, U.S.-backed AIDS programs in the developing world may also begin to roll out the pill for healthy people who are at high risk of contracting HIV. Public health experts are eager to build up all effective prevention strategies, noting that the only way to stop the epidemic is by preventing new infections as well as treating existing ones
SOURCE:HEALTHLAND

DOOR TO HELL??? MASSIVE HOLE IN THE DESERT

The hole in the heart of the Karakum Desert was created in 1971 when a drilling rig used by Soviet geologists collapsed.

The team decided to burn off poisonous gases inside the crater but the fire, which they believed would be out within days, is still going. At first glance, it could be a dramatic scene from a science-fiction movie.But this giant hole of fire in the heart of the Karakum Desert is not the aftermath of an attack on Earth, launched from outer space. It is a crater made by geologists more than 40 years ago, and the flames within have been burning ever since. Welcome to Derweze in Turkmenistan – or, as the locals have called it, ‘The Door to Hell’. Take a look at the pictures…

LADY GAGA TWEETS A NUDE PICTURE OF HER

The 26 year old singer yesterday Tweeted this extremely revealing picture of herself sitting in an armchair. Over time she has been known to be a media friendly celeb with a lot of displays similar to this very one and it leaves a lot of people with that confusion of why someone with these many talents (Singer, Songwriter etc), would go ahead to draw more attention when her talents are good enough to draw all the talents she wants.

MEET THE NIGERIAN GIRL BORN WITHOUT HANDS USES HER LEGS TO EAT, WRITE, AND MANY MORE THINGS

Meet Sheidatu Abubakar who, though born without hands, uses her legs to eat, write, and even do henna decoration for ladies.
From a distance, Sheidatu Abubakar looks like most of her peers in school uniform. The hijab she wears conceals the fact that the SS1 student has no hands, unlike her school mates. But meeting the humorous teenager, you get the feeling that what she lacked in hands, she more than made up through the maximum utilisation of her legs, and this makes her the most popular girl in her hometown of Lapai, Niger State.

Born 16 years ago without hands, Sheda, as she is fondly called among her peers, has refused to allow her physical challenges to stand in the way of her dreams. And determined to realise her potentials to the fullest, Sheda is not only going to school but is competing favorably in the classroom with her normal classmates, particularly in design and drawing.

“I use one of my legs to draw and design to specification. I have been using my toes to give women beautiful henna designs during marriage or naming ceremonies. And I do this (henna decoration) in about an hour or so depending on what the clients asked for,” she told Weekly Trust in Lapai, adding that “Nobody thought me how to make such designs.”

She said there are instances where she collects money for the service rendered. If I were to be paid, I collect N 50 per hand and leg, so the payment for complete service is N 200 per person. And I can do four in a day.”

Indeed, Sheida has been using her toes to do so many other things including writing in class, eating and washing clothes, as well as helping her younger ones to loosen their hair for plaiting. She, however admitted that she cannot plait as she would have loved to.

Speaking on her future plans, Sheida said she nurses the ambition of going to as far as university to study. “I started school after the age of six unlike most of my mates, but I will want to study Fine Art one day in the university,” she said.

No stigmatisation

Sheida told Weekly Trust that she has never experienced any form of stigmatization either from her mates in the school or from the people in her community. Rather, she noted, most of them adore me. “The physical challenge I have may be seen as a curse by some, but to me it is a blessing. Because of my nature, I have near unrestricted access to the Emir of Lapai. I have his direct line and can also call him.”

She said her only constraint in life is that her parents are financially weak. “But still if given the necessary support, the sky would be my limit in ensuring she that has acquired higher education,” she said, and appealed to the government and well spirited individuals to come to her aid toward realizing her dream.

“I hope to one day secure employment after my studies, so that I can buy a car for my father who has been toiling to take me to school on his old motorcycle, especially in this raining season.”

Going down memory lane, Malam Abubakar R. Daji, a staff of Lapai Local Government Council, said he still recalls the day (Friday, September 23, 1996) Sheida was born. “When my wife gave birth, the nurse attending to her came out in rude shock, saying ‘Inna lillahi Wa’inna ilaihi Rajiun’ (meaning ‘we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return’). She kept on reciting without saying anything to anybody.

“After calming down, she told me that the baby came out without both hands. Meanwhile, my wife, who was in the labour room, panicked thinking she had a still birth. I, therefore, quickly went to and told my wife, and calmed her by letting her know whatever comes from God be it good or bad we must accept in good faith. She understood.”

According him, shortly after the news hit the town, their house turned into a Mecca of sort as people trooped to see the baby. He said he would never forget the words of the former chairman of Lapai LG Umaru Sidi. He told me that a person that was born in similar circumstances in their community is not only alive today. but is one of the most influential people in the area.

He said he once wrote the Niger State government about six years ago seeking for assistance, but only a wheelchair was given to them. “I said to myself, a person without a limb cannot use a wheelchair, therefore we handed it over to someone to whom it would be useful.”

The father of the girl said initially they were not keen on sending the little girl to school until she started exhibiting her God-given talent. “When we saw her potentials, we enrolled her at a private school. But after sometimes, we had to withdraw her because even Sheida believed the school was expensive. Fortunately for us she is still doing pretty well in school.”

Sheida’s mother, Fatima Umar, said she is not finding it difficult to cater for her daughter. “Sheida, like other children, crawled before she started walking. But when she started crawling, instead of moving on hands and knees, she would be twisting her body while on ground.

Malama Fatima said the day she would never forget was the day she kept Sheida and her food on one side and rushed to get a stool, “but to my surprise on coming back I found Sheida feeding herself by using her toes to hold the spoon.

She further revealed that her daughter wears and removes her clothes without any difficulty, particularly her uniform as she always accused her younger ones of not washing it as it should be.

According to her, the little girl was still crawling when her mother gave birth to her younger brother. But when he started walking, she took that as a challenge and started learning how to walk.

Sheida, as a girl, is very active at the home front as she actively participates in the house chores, particularly kitchen activities. Her mother said Sheida cooks her favourite meal of pasta by herself, even though she requires some assistance like arranging of firewood and lighting the fire.

“It is my prayer that Sheida will one day realise her dreams in life,” Malama Fatima said.